DR. WALKER

Parenting

My wife and I have raised 2 wonderful young ladies. Since childhood, people have been interested in what they were doing next. In-short they were very well behaved, polite, respectful and caring from as far back as I can remember. They graduated number 1 and number 3 from high-school; child graduating number 3 transferred as a senior to a new high school (military move) and lost her holding from the previous high school. At some point one or both were class president in high school, student body president, captain of the high school soccer team, captain of the high school track team, captain of the volley ball team. Both are graduate of The Duke University. One is currently attending medical school and the other completing pre-med requirement.

Some key things:

Stay Active: Kids will not necessarily volunteer to be a part of team, especially if they are bashful. Work with them to find any hidden talent. This is can be accomplished by watching what sort of sporting things they gravitate towards. Once you have a pretty good idea, encourage them to try it in a team environment. It may take a bit of coaxing but once they start and meet new friends it becomes pretty difficult to stop. This helps to keep them focused and active. You will both reap the benefits of this when they get to high school.

Be firm: From the beginning, be firm on things that are non-negatable; lying, stealing, fighting etc. On these you must be unrelenting. The earlier you draw this line in the sand the better. We never had a problem with our kids lying, stealing or fighting, however, when we heard of such things happening at school or with one of their friends, we made it very clear that this would never be tolerated. At some point taking away their sporting, would perhaps be the worst possible thing that could happen to them.

Math and reading: Children who are introduce to math and reading late may become apprehensive and reluctant to picking up the skill. We introduced math from the time they were able to count. In fact, they had daily math and reading homework even before pre-k. This way, they thought math and reading was just a normal part of daily life. Even before they are able to read for themselves, you could read to them. At some point they enjoyed the stories so much that they in turn wanted to have the same enjoyment of reading for themselves. They simply became eager in learning how to read. Math was simply fun when they started school because they had almost no apprehension; they already knew the material perhaps 2 grade levels above. It did, in some, way backfire on us at one point in that we had to remind our daughter to stop “correcting the teacher.”

Having Dinner Together: Dinner time was cherished in our home. This was the time that we all discussed good and bad things that occurred in our day. This was nonjudgmental time; no one could be upset about anything that was discussed. This time enabled our kids to discussed anything without the concern for reprisal. Again, as this process was started early, and continues todate.

Remind them they are special: All our conversations end with “I love you.” Every positive thing they did was a celebration; I mean that. As you celebrated them, they were encouraged to repeat that behavior. This was from special dinners, to having cakes, to special Sunday outings. Much of this was around sporting events, accolades from schools, performing well on their sporting team and grades. We celebrated A’s so much that the standards kept getting higher and higher. It got to a point that we were primarily celebrating only A+’s. It was so intense that one daughter’s report card for the semester was 7 A+’s; those were her actual grades for the semester. Our other daughter received 6 A+’s and 1 A. Your children will reach for the stars to be celebrated. Celebrate them.